Most of the time, we underestimate our habits. More correctly, we underestimate the power our habits have over us, and the impact they have on our actions. Understandably, nobody is 100% conscious of his or her actions all of the time. However, if we want to feel better about ourselves or we’re in need of a confidence boost, sometimes our habits could be one thing we could look into.
Confidence and self-esteem are determining factors of success. They’re also a huge part of attaining genuine happiness. Establishing deeply honest confidence in oneself and boosting self-esteem usually requires work from the inside. People who take the time to do this often discover that habits are the building blocks of either virtue or vice. When we lack confidence in ourselves and have a frail kind of self-esteem, it can be due to our habits, or how we habitually think of or see ourselves.
Habits have a remarkable way of affecting our outlook and self-image. In other words, what we find ourselves doing consistently out of habit or even our habitual way of thinking always affects us. Our habits can either build us up (and our confidence) or keep us down in negativity.
Watch out for these bad habits that could end up hurting your confidence and self-esteem.
1. Being A People Pleaser
It’s a fact; you can’t please everyone. Let’s say even if you miraculously do, it’s not going to do your self-esteem much good. Pleasing everyone does not mean being a decent and reasonable person, but it’s another way of saying no to yourself consistently to say yes to others.
People pleasers inevitably feel that they are neglecting their own needs and become resentful. Sometimes they end up not knowing who they are and simply keep following the crowd. The result is that they end up having no voice at all or lack self-identity. These things are crucial to a person’s self-confidence, or lack of it.
2. Comparing Yourself to Other People
Even before the advent of social media, people have already been comparing themselves non-stop – from their looks to their possessions, even their relationships. Today, comparing oneself to others has become a lot easier through social media, with the internet becoming unavoidable in our daily routine.
If this is a habit you are keenly aware of in yourself, it’s time to break free of it. It’s not healthy for building confidence or establishing healthy self-esteem. Stop comparing yourself or constantly watching what others are doing in their private lives. Focus on working on yourself and moving beyond the past you want to outgrow instead.
3. Social Media Fixation
There is nothing innately wrong with social media. Being connected has remarkably added so much value to people’s lives and relationships. But it has also put many people in a position where they can no longer live without their phones, cannot stop scrolling their news feeds, or worse, made it too easy to compare their lives to the glammed-up lives on social media.
In some way, for many people, it has exacerbated a sense of anxiety or enabled psychological challenges to surface. If you find yourself unnecessarily hooked and addicted to social media, you can take steps to break away from this unhelpful routine, especially if you wish to work on developing genuine confidence.
4. Refusing to Go Out of Your Comfort Zone
Changes naturally feel hard and challenging; it’s what they’re made of. But many people refuse to get out of their comfort zone due to this unwillingness to deal with discomfort or handle fear. This is a habit that can hold you back from a life of fulfilling self-expression and happiness.
We are all meant to grow with time. We are never meant to stay in one place forever and stagnate there, especially if we’re not happy. As Steve Jobs famously put it, “keep moving, don’t settle.” Open yourself up to new challenges, try new things, and pursue your passions. Studies show that being good at something can really help boost a person’s confidence, and if you never try, you can never be good at anything! If you’re not happy with where you are in life or haven’t found your place yet, you always have a chance to change that. Don’t be content with unhappiness. Don’t limit yourself by never trying.
5. Having No Boundaries
We’re all meant to relate and build relationships with other people. But this is where boundaries come in and become very important. With various backgrounds, naturally comes differences in opinions, preferences, and decisions. Boundaries enable you to co-exist with other people without losing your sense of self.
Without it, it’ll be hard to say no to others without feeling bad, or disagreeing with an opinion that varies from yours. By failing to establish boundaries, you’ll end up either drained, with low self-esteem, or lacking in confidence to assert your truth. If you wish to work on your confidence and self-esteem, know that having and asserting your boundaries is a must.